Conscience
by ravencrow neversmile
Summary: Vaughn and her unborn child were killed in the crash,Her father murdered. Sydney is alone.How many pieces of herself can she lose before there is nothing left.
1. Uninvited

**DISCLAIMER:**I own nothing but a shiny apple powerbook equipped with office x.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **This is my first fanfic. Don't be brutal but please be honest.

He was sat waiting for her when she got home, Smug and uninvited, lounged in the corner of her sofa.

"And what the hell do you want?" She questioned the smirking blonde assassin as though she had half expected him.

"Just to spend a little time, Sydney" he smiled and patted the sofa beside him. The cocky bastard was inviting her to sit down next to him in her own apartment as though he owned the place.

'_How thoughtful'_ she mused and dropped down next to him anyway.

"How was London?" He asked knowingly. She would have expected nothing less.

"Fine it rained a lot," she stated sarcastically, her tone serving only to amuse him further.

"And agent Brookes?" his eyes met hers deliberately and she found herself unable to look away. She had been screwing Brookes for a few months now but nobody at the office knew that, it was an arrangement that suited them both, he was married and she was merely looking to make her feel anything but self-disgust.

She tore her gaze away and moved from the sofa to pour herself an overly generous measure of whisky, she held the glass up in a cheers gesture and downed the warming liquid with little recognition of it's taste. The smooth heat on the back of her throat the only indication the alcohol had even been there.

"I'm going for a shower," she stated simply.

"Is that an invitation, agent Bristow?" he grinned widely.

"Get lost sark" she turned the light off and left him sat in the dark.

She stood under the hot water trying desperately to wash the stains from her soul. She had know some time ago that she was losing bits of herself, justifying each more and more morally dubious action as necessary for the greater good. She knew of course that exact moment she had been beyond saving, and the very thought of it brought the pain and self-disgust she tried so hard to hide.

He was sat cross-legged on the bed when she finally emerged wrapped in a fluffy white towel.

"Hmm, Very nice" He smiled his gaze raking her form suggestively.

She ignored his pathetic attempt to unnerve her. They were way past that.

"Why are you here Sark? " She was tired of this game.

"You know why" His smirk had gone; His eyes were empty and cold.

"Yes" she admitted hoarsely through tears she could no longer hold in.

She forced herself to meet his icy stare her eyes pleading with him.

"Why won't you leave me alone" She sobbed self-pityingly.

"Because you don't want me to Sydney" he met her gaze with tired blue eyes.

He seemed as exhausted by this game as her.

"I'm sorry," She cried tears flowing freely over her already tear stung cheeks.

Like I said first attempt. Please review my fragile ego loves attention.

Raven ; )


	2. mission briefing

**DISCLAIMER:**I own jack.

**AUTHORS NOTE: **Thank you to **C J Tiesto**, **MartinaCruz **and **trojangymnast08 **for the reviews. Nice to know someone is reading this.

She had woken with a head full of clay.

She'd cried herself into a deep but restless sleep yet again.

Her exhaustion had become a comfort to her, reminding her she was after all still human if nothing more.

She was early into the A.P.O offices and headed straight for a coffee hit. This early there was only ever a couple of people around. Mostly people whose names she had never bothered to learn, not from any sense of arrogance but as a measure of self-protection. People who got too close to her always got hurt.

In a way, despite her abject loneliness she was glad that Weiss and the Finkman's had moved, it meant they were safely away from her curse.

She'd had several e-mails from Marshall and Weiss called at least once a week, In every reply she'd skirted any important issues, Made them feel better with their choices. She knew Weiss was worried about her but she painted on a happy face and let him think she was fine.

An hour later she sat in a briefing, Sloane running over the upcoming mission to Valencia.

"This man is Adan Delgado, He has recently come into possession of information of great threat to national security." Sloane glanced briefly at the image of Delgado giving them all a chance to memorize the face, even though they would have that information in the files in front of them.

Delgado looked around mid thirties, had brooding Spanish features and was handsome in a generic and understated way.

He reminded Sydney of one of the soccer stars that Nadia had pointed out once as they had watched a match whilst in London, a small afternoon distraction from their usually busy assignments.

The thought of Nadia in happy times distracting her momentarily Sydney had missed Sloane starting to talk again, he hadn't seemed to notice her lack of attention so she simply tried to fill in the blanks as he carried on.

"Delgado will be attending a charity ball in two days at the Valencian Institute of Modern Art. We believe he will be meeting a buyer here to make the exchange. Sydney, you and Aiden (Brookes) will be going in as representatives of an American conglomerate interested in making a hefty donation to said charity, which Delgado happens to be the director of. When you meet with Delgado you will get close enough to retrieve the information. Which he keeps on his person in the form of a chip hidden inside a silver cigarette case." Sloane clicked onto a close up of the Silver cigarette case in Delgado's hands as he extracted a cigarette.

" Francis" Sloane motioned to the new op-tech guy. He was the similar socially awkward type who seemed to fill these positions, but even if he was a very close second to Marshall in ability she found herself unable to grant him the same patience and friendly acceptance it had always been so easy to offer Marshall.

It was a simple assignment she found herself drifting in and out of the briefing whilst casually observing Brookes from the corner of her eye.

"Okay, any questions?" Sloane voice broke into her hazy meandering thoughts. His attention suddenly on her.

"No seems straight forward enough" she smiled sweetly as if she had been listening to everything.

"okay then that's all" Everybody Started to break of into their own spaces and conversations. filtering out of the room slowly.

She headed for the door.

"Sydney, A Word?" Sloane cut her off at the pass waiting for the room to clear she returned to her seat.

"How are you doing? "the concern in his voice unnerved her she neither wanted or needed concern from Arvin Sloane.

"I'm fine" She snapped staring him down with little effect.

"Sydney, You're father was the closest thing to a friend I had I feel his loss everytime I enter these offices or sit at this table." She felt her rage fighting to be set free.She keep it tightly reined in.

"You haven't taken any time off to grieve, Once this mission is over I want you to take a few weeks off,You are exhausted" His voice dripped with honey coated sympathy.

"I don't need any time off" she stated, her own voice thick with venom.

"it wasn't a request Sydney" He stated calmly.

She knew arguing would accheive nothing.' _Great time of to sit and think' _just what she didn't need

"anything else ?"Her tone was dismissive .

"No that's all" He replied wearily.

**I'D LIKE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK SO PLEASE REVIEW. **

**:) Raven**


	3. Nothing personal

**Disclaimer:** When I say I own jack, I mean jack shit not jack Bristow. (Although he is hiding in my laundry hamper)

**Author's note:** Thanks to MartinaCruz and phil4858 for the reviews, they are much appreciated.

**Valencia, Spain.**

She felt an emptiness creep over her as they sat in silence in the car.

Usually she would have attempted some sort of conversation with Aiden just to stop her thoughts wandering to Sark, but something in her had changed. Bitter acceptance of what she had done had settled over her, she couldn't change it, so why tear herself apart with endless analysis.

"You okay?" He asked casually, but there was an air of unease in his voice.

She glanced over at him, He was attractive and he was well aware of it. He carried himself with an air of self-confidence that bordered on arrogance.

"I'm fine" Was her abrupt response; She didn't want or need his concern.

He wasn't her type but then she didn't want him to be.

She didn't want to love him; She just needed to want him.

Unfortunately even that was getting tired. She found herself losing interest in the occasional sneaked afternoon in a motel, his sudden concern for her throwing her off balance. This wasn't a relationship it was as impersonal as sex could get, that was how she wanted it and he was ruining it.

She should have just gone to a club and picked up some random guy this was going to get messy.

"You should go somewhere after this…Maybe we could spend a weekend at the beach" He suggested with a small smile. It was obliviously common knowledge that Sloane had ordered her to take time off.

She glared at him, Eyes daring him to continue at his own risk. The beach, Vaughn and her had been on the way to the beach.

"I have plans" was all she said removing herself from the conversation with a simple movement that had her staring blankly out into the passing Spanish street.

Her thoughts now stuck on Vaughn thanks to Brookes attempt to make this more than it would ever be.

She mentally cursed him as she felt her resolve slipping, it would be a year and fifteen days since she'd lost Vaughn. This time it had been forever. Tears prickled at the corner of her eyes, hot and unwanted.

She wouldn't cry, not in public. _'Hold it in before you lose it_ 'she mentally chastised herself.

The tears didn't come, She was in control again.

He didn't attempt to speak to her again except to confirm comms were operational. Dixon and another agent would be holed up in a nearby apartment tracking their progress. His presence giving her strength even though they had grown more distant recently.

They strolled into the museum, Two elegant yet unassuming business people amongst a sea of other corporate faces looking to network or improve their company's profile.

**Sorry for the slow burn , Trying to get it right in my head is proving to be harder than I'd anticipated.(there's a whole lot of clutter in here that needs putting into storage). Hopefully this chapter will keep you sweet while I sort my head out.**

**Raven ; )**


	4. Smoke

**DISCLAIMER:** I still own jack shit, I did buy a doughnut this morning but I got peckish.

**AUTHORS NOTE:**I thank **phi4858 **once again for reviewing, you opinion is always a welcome one, cheers.

O 

**Valencia, Spain **(still)

Adan Delgado smiled broadly at her as he took her hand and kissed it. His gaze never quite reaching her face.

"Always a pleasure to meet such a beautiful woman, Miss Phillips" His eyes met hers in a way he must have thought seductive, She smiled knowingly, this was a game she exiled at.

"The pleasure is mine Mr. Delgado, This is a fabulous place. I can see why it is so close to you heart." Sydney purred in mock admiration. She caught a brief glance of Brookes rolling his eyes.

"Oh where are my manners…" She laughed lightly placing a flirtatious hand on Delgado's arm. "…This is Jonathan Turner, My…Colleague." She gestured to Brookes dismissively.

"Mr. Turner" He offered an outstretched hand to Brookes, Who shook it and nodded back as way of bored greeting. They instantly came to the silent agreement that neither liked the other.

Sydney smiled linking her arm through Delgado's and steering him away. Leaving Brookes to id the possible buyer.

"You really must show me some more of this place of yours"

She pressed herself closer to him as they moved towards the stairs and away from the idle crowds of chattering people.

She doesn't like the building at all it is cold and sterile and far too modern to have any sort of soul. It reminds her of her high school for a reason she can't explain, but it's cooler on the stairs without the press of pretentious strangers.

"Is Mr. turner not interested in the tour as well?" He asked politely but the question is leading. She had purposely given him the impression that her and Brookes where more than colleagues, the fact that they had brought their own repressive tension with them making it easy to believe.

"Mr. turner doesn't appreciate the beauty that is before him." She remarked coldly earning herself a raised eyebrow from her host.

"Seems not" He replies so sure of himself. She had done her research. Delgado is an incorrigible womanizer, and she knew she would find her opportunity by exploiting the fact.

"I'm sorry could you excuse me" She tripped over the words subtly feigning distress in her voice she headed for the closest exit. It was a gamble, he may not follow her out into the cold night, but if he didn't there was always plan b.

He did follow her appearing beside her only moments after she'd left him.

"Shit" She rummaged through her bag angrily. She met his curious gaze. "Picked the wrong week to give up smoking," She explained lightly wiping crocodile tears from her eyes.

He Put his hand into his inside jacket pocket and pulled out the small beautifully crafted cigarette case she had been hoping for and offered her one.

She took one gratefully; He took one himself and lit both. She drew in a deep lungful, reaching out for his hand as he moved to put away the case.

"Do you mind?" She asked running her hand lightly over the exquisite silver case. Her fingers lingering over his a bit more than necessary.

He handed it to her without question watching as she examined it with interest.

"I'm sorry for running out on you, Jonathan and I were…close for awhile and working with him is trying sometimes."

"He's married?" It wasn't really a question, Brookes had been wearing a wedding band, his own.

"Yes, but it other things that get in the way". She smiled, in the brief period that he had looked up at her she had palmed the case and replaced it with the perfect duplicate that Francis had modified, She handed it back casually and drew another deep lungful of the damaging smoke.

She hadn't smoked for a long time but she could tolerate it.

She finished and stubbed it out with her two thousand dollar crocodile Avila Salvatore Ferragamo's.

"It's cold out here"She stated simply glancing back at Delgado whom she seemed to have disturbed checking out her form with great interest. She raised one elegant eyebrow and smiled leaving him staring after her.

"Okay got it "she hissed over comms.

"I'm heading to you Syd, no sign of a buyer here" Brookes replied swiftly.

She heard heavy footfalls of someone lightly running up the hallway towards her and felt fight or flight tension course through her now taut body, It was the wrong direction for brookes it had to be Delgado, had he realized she'd made the switch.

She was on the verge of running, when he rounded the corner meeting her stare intently.

"Miss Phillips, I'm very sorry but I have a meeting to attend to maybe we could arrange a tour for another time" She felt the tension dissolve from her.

"That would be lovely lunch tomorrow perhaps at my hotel…to discuss Phillips international's donation, then we can discuss a tour as well" She knew he would immediately take it to be an invitation for more than lunch. She was eager to get away from here, everything was going to well, and she was always waiting for a sting in the tail on such straightforward assignments.

"Ahh, Lisa there you are? "Brookes eyed Delgado warningly, Delgado instantly removing the hand placed lightly in the small of Sydney's back.

"Jonathan" She sighed as if the interruption was unwelcome.

"It was a pleasure Mr. Delgado, I look forward to our meeting tomorrow" she smiled warmly not unaware of the smirk Delgado shot at Brookes. She handed him a small white business card.

"My cell is on the back" She lent forward and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

She left him staring after her as she strolled away. Brookes shot her a questioning look as she passed and she casually blew him a kiss.

0 

**Okay not one hundred percent sure of this chapter, doesn't have enough tension for my liking. So please let me know what you think. (Looking at you with big puppy dog eyes, please review).**

**In case anyone is wondering plan b is always the same. Kick their arse, take their stuff and scarper.**

**:) Raven.**


	5. Another visit

**DISCLAIMER:**I own nothing.

**AUTHORS NOTE: phi4858** is fast becoming my favorite person.

She woke glazed in perspiration, sheets twisted around her, her heart still pounding mercilessly in her chest from the nightmare that had become a regular visitor.

"Dreaming about me again, baby?" The hair on the back of her neck immediately standing on end. She sighed heavily; she should have expected him really.

"Sark" she greeted, annoyance all to obvious in her voice.

"Sydney" He was laid casually on the bed next to her, she turned to face him fully, feeling slightly exposed in only her UCLA t-shirt. As if reading her mind he eyed her predatorily.

"You didn't have to dress up for me," He drawled lazily as he ran a finger along the top of her bare thigh.

She shivered involuntarily and rolled off the bed away from him.

She went to the kitchen hoping unrealistically that he would leave. She poured herself a very generous glass of scotch.

"What are we drinking to?" he asked perching himself on a stool at the counter.

"Oblivion" she sighed, downing the drink with terrifying ease, before pouring out the next glass.

He looked at her and shook his head pityingly.

Pity from Sark just what she needed.

She felt her sanity slipping gently away but found each drink that followed suppressed the dull noise in her head.

"So your on leave now?" It was a casual question but she knew it was just his way of playing games with her head, reminding her he was always one step ahead.

"Yes" She sighed heavily, She had tried to reason/argue with Sloane at the debriefing but he had emphatically told her he didn't expect to see her for at least three weeks.

What the hell was she going to do with three weeks off; she couldn't stand her own company as it was.

"We could go to Prague, Call in some favors" He offered flippantly, another reminder of how well he could read her.

How he was inside her head so far she'd need a lobotomy to remove him.

"Get some closure" he smirked; by closure he meant revenge, to find out who had her father murdered and pay them back in kind. Somewhere in her sleep deprived, Whiskey marinated mind it seemed like a fantastic idea.

**Hi Sorry 'bout the hold up, I'd would love to give you some fantastic reason for the delay, but truth is I have just been lost and lazy.**

**Soz'**

 **RAVEN.**


	6. Elvis lives

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**Author's note: **Hi I figured I better post a couple of chapters to make up for my laziness recently.

**Prague, Czech Republic.**

She'd wasted no time with booking a flight and by the following evening she was landing at Ruzyni. She rented a car and headed northwest to the city centre.

Her Czech contact like many others existed outside of the CIA connections she held, Her father had always told her the importance off maintaining certain safeguards. She had since her time as Julia Thorne come to understand the benefit of outside assistance.

Since her fathers murder she had inherited more than the will reading had indicated, as well as the things that could be trusted to a lawyer to dispense, there had been a simple white envelope her name in her fathers concise handwriting on the front.

To the outside observer it would have been a brief but fatherly goodbye to his child, however to Sydney it spoke of more, the hidden meaning leading her to a safety deposit box in Geneva that held contacts, keys and maps to half a dozen safe houses and an account number that when she checked held a not so small fortune.

She booked into the four seasons; she was supposed to be on vacation so she picked a pricey but gorgeous double suite with a beautiful view of the Vitava River.

Sark must have let himself in while she was in the shower, because he stood against the fall to ceiling windows looking out across the river.

"It's nice isn't it" She moved to stand next him, close enough to be touching but separated by a greater distance.

"I always quite liked it here" He said distantly, she saw his sad smile reflected in the glass. His eyes briefly flicking up to meet hers in mutual understanding, then they were back on the view but somehow distant, remembering another time. She left him there and went to plug in her laptop. She left a comment on the Elvis lives bulletin board.

"I saw the king yesterday in a star bucks in Memphis, he was drinking a non fat latte" Sark appeared behind her to read what she had typed.

"It always amazes me how random these are sometimes, I mean I don't mean to insult your intelligence but the CIA is probably so busy looking for these stupid coded messages that you could just put, _Hey there want to meet for some secret spy business _and they wouldn't even realise" He mocked with a dry chuckle.

"Yeah, thanks for that insight, guess we know why you ended up in CIA custody" She shot back, Earning herself a smirk.

She knew there wouldn't be an immediate reply and she was tired.

"I'm going to bed, there won't be an reply yet," She stated matter-of-factly. He got up and headed back to the window.

"I'm just going it stay here a while and enjoy the view" He said a distance in his voice again.

"Night" He added to her retreating back as she closed the door of the bedroom.

Despite her tiredness she found it difficult to drift off. Her mind buzzing over with anticipation of a response to her message. Sark had been right she needed "Closure" on the matter of her father's death and now laid staring at the ceiling of her 542 Euro a night suite all she could think of was what she would do to her fathers murderer when she found them.

Thanks for reading this and please review it might light a fire under me and spur me into writing more.

**Cheers,**

 **RAVEN**


	7. information

**Disclaimer: **I still own nothing.

**Authors note:** Thanks again to **phi4858**

**Prague, Czech Republic.**

"So how long do we wait for this guy?" Sark asked impatiently.

"As long as it takes, Christ you must have done this before" She snapped, She had failed to get more than two hours sleep again last night and his endless grumbling was getting to her.

"My associates always knew better than to make me wait around in dingy warehouse buildings," He returned equally tersely.

"Well aren't you scary?" She mocked sarcastically." Would you just shut the hell up?" She added her attention grabbed by a sound from behind the door opposite. She was sat with her back in one corner allowing her maximum possible view of her surroundings, Even if you knew who you were meeting it paid to be cautious.

Phillip Cassidy (her contact, although she knew it was one of many aliases) Stepped through the door. Eyes instantly scanning the dark room assessing his surroundings. Seemingly happy he was not being led into a trap he strode forwards confidently.

"Talking to your self is the first sign of madness," He said one eyebrow raised in her direction.

Of course Sark was no longer there. She felt herself blush at Phillips scrutiny.

"I need information" She was straight to business. She wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

"Of course" he lent lazily against the wall. "Is it for your own personal use or for the CIA?" He asked seemingly without interest. She had not been in contact with him since she had been undercover within the covenant. it was simply his way of letting her know he knew all about her affiliations. It didn't matter to him either way he was completely freelance, no interest to protect except his own skin and bank balance. She had no illusions of his loyalty to her either; he was equally as likely to sell information on her as to her.

"Actually I'm not CIA anymore but does it matter?" she already knew it didn't but it was simply espionage etiquette.

"Of course not" He grinned broadly." What is it you need?"

"I want to know who killed Jack Bristow, the guy that pulled the trigger and whoever hired them" She stared hard into his steely gaze.

"Ahh, personal, I'll get back to you in 36 hours with whatever I have" he considered something briefly. "How solid do you need it?" He meant what sort of proof did she need.

"As solid as possible" She couldn't afford to make any mistakes with this. There would be no taking this back if she went through with it.

"It might be expensive" he smiled wanly. He meant was she good for it. She took a small key out from her pocket.

"There is 50,000 dollars in that locker at Hlavni Nadrazi, that should help with expenses, you'll get whatever else you need when I get what I want" He seemed more than satisfied with her response and left without another word.


	8. Getting lost

**Disclaimer: **I still own nothing.

**Authors note:** okay hope this is okay for the rating. Minor sexual content and drug references.

**Prague, Czech Republic.**

The weight of her impatience was crushing her; she had to get out of this suite. She had found herself just waiting staring into the night time city contemplating her crumbling resolve, she was losing herself to that dark little voice in her head.

She showered and dressed, tight designer jeans and leather corset. Somewhere in her head she tried to justify it as keeping up the appearance of being on vacation, but she wasn't fooling herself, she knew why she was going out and it was all about losing herself even if only for the rest of the night.

The club was heaving with warm, anonymous flesh, tight young bodies pressed close to one another in the company of a throbbing euro dance track. She moved as if she belonged, a habit gleaned from endless missions to every type of club in existence.

She wasn't Sydney Bristow here. She was whoever the hell she wanted to be and she wanted to be as far from Sydney as she could get. She made her way to the bar, the music already permeating her being.

"Vodka, make it large" She shouted to the barman over the pounding bass.

He placed it on the bar in front of her and took her money with a knowing look.

She'd picked out the nightclub because of its anonymity, a favorite amongst foreign visitors in the city, it was popular with young revelers from both the states and Europe making her easy LA drawl nothing unusual. She could lose herself here with ease.

The first vodka took the tension from her shoulders and neck, the second her restlessness and the third her inhibitions.

She found herself dancing closer than was decent with a tight bodied Brit who had told her his name but she hadn't deemed it worth remembering, 'but my mates call me Tucker' He'd tacked onto his introduction so she figured Tucker was good enough.

He was attractive, and more importantly had a firm muscular body.

She pushed herself closer to him brazenly, leaning forwards to get close enough for him to hear her.

"You wanna get out of here?" She asked no doubt in her mind what the answer would be as she led him towards the exit knowingly.

He was staying in a modest hotel in the old town, typical student room. She realized in the soft light of his room that he was probably a few years younger than her. It didn't matter.

"You want some, Katie" He offered her small mirror with four small white lines laid neatly on it. Sydney Bristow didn't touch drugs. "Katie" wasn't Sydney Bristow. She snorted two lines casually and handed the mirror back to him.

The cocaine hit her quickly, her pulse quickening. She watched as he snorted two lines himself then she was on him, tearing hungrily at his clothes. She needed him to help her lose herself.

She felt him react with equal hunger, her clothes soon joining his on floor. He pushed her hard against the wall, her legs automatically finding their way around his waist. An involuntary moan leaving her lips as he ground hard against her, it seemed like it had been months since her animalistic needs had been met.

Arching her back she tighten her legs around him urging him deeper.

They fucked hard and urgently, each with their own desperate need to be sated.

Later she left him sleeping as she showered, hoping she could get away before he woke.

Her hopes were dashed when he slipped into the shower with her.

"Hey" He smiled somewhat awkwardly his arms slipping around her waist.

"Hi' She replied feeling suddenly uncomfortable under his gaze. He ran a finger over a scar on her shoulder.

"You have a lot of scars" He commented casually but she could see the question in his eyes. She felt "Katie" slip away leaving Sydney there, venerable. Alone, naked and broken

"I was a tom boy when I was a kid?" the lie drifting easily from her lips. She covered his mouth with her own. She didn't want to talk.

The second time she couldn't honestly say who she had been with, she just knew it wasn't him she was thinking of as he 'made love' to her under the warm running water of the shower. Her back pushed against the cool wet tile.

She dressed and left after the shower. He reluctantly called her a taxi.

'I'm not going to see you again, am I" He said sullenly as he opened the taxi door for her.

"If your lucky, no." She smiled sadly.

She didn't look back as the cab drove away into the early morning light.

 **Okay I know its out of character, but that's kinda the point.**

**Sydney** **wouldn't act like that, so is there anything left of Sydney ?**

**And I'm sorry if you were hoping for Sarkney smut, cos it not really where this is going in my head. This is more about what makes Sark different from Syd.**

**Don't like it let me know. (I won't change it but I need more reviews, even if they are bad lol).**

 **RAVEN**


	9. 12 hours early

**Disclaimer: **I still own nothing.sorry for the delay,I know where I am going just working out how to get there.

**Authors note:** Thanks to MartinaCruz, phil4858 and c j Tiesto for their support.

**Prague, Czech Republic.**

She'd heard from Cassidy after twenty-four hours, Twelve hours less than she'd expected, to say it made her apprehensive was a definite understatement. She tired to write it off as anticipation, but she had started to realize lying to yourself took a lot more effort than she could muster lately. She was saving everything she had left for just one task now, nothing else mattered. 

"You're early" she said it like an accusation as he sat down next to her in the corner booth of a gloomy little bar.

"The information was more forthcoming than I expected" He handed her a large envelope.

"But I don't think you are going to like it" he declared gesturing to a passing waitress. He ordered himself a beer and the same again for her.

Sydney resisted the overwhelming urge to tear into the envelope and view its secrets, instead waiting for their drinks to be deposited on the table and the waitress to leave again.

She slides several photos onto the table, studying them briefly. She had already seen the top three, all from a security camera, her father meeting Sark in his car in an underground car park.

"This is useless, I already know Julian Sark did not kill my father," she snapped placing the photo's down again. The last meeting she had with her mother had cleared that up.

"No Julian Sark didn't kill your father, Sark was assisting your father with a relocation". Her mother had said as much, Sark had been helping arrange for Jack Bristow's "retirement" from the world of espionage. He nodded towards the photos again; She complied and flicked through all of them this time. She stopped abruptly the colour draining from her face.

"Are you sure about this? " The words slipped from her mouth of their own accord her control slipping away as she starred at the image of her father's murderer slipping out of the car where Jack Bristow's now dead body slumped over the steering wheel.

Everything seemed to fade into background noise she knew it was true she didn't need him to confirm it.


	10. Serve cold

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**Authors note:** Thanks go to phi4858 once again for constant support, hopefully you will enjoy the rest of this story as I am getting to the point now, thanks.

**BACK IN LOS ANGELES.**

She didn't break her stride as she stepped out into Californian sunshine.

Somehow her mind had already dissociated LA as home, She knew that once she had done what she had came for she could never come back here.

She wouldn't miss it though, Without Danny, Without Will, Francie, Vaughn or her father it was just a place. It would never be anything more than a destination on a departures board in some anonymous airport.

She booked into a modest hotel under an Alias, She couldn't bring herself to go back to her apartment for fear that she wouldn't go through with this, that she would crumble under the pressure of her own self image, Sydney Bristow was strong and morel, Sydney Bristow wasn't a cold blooded killer. It was a subtle form of self-delusion, signing in as an alias. It made an assignment, it was work, and it wasn't personal.

She smiled absently to herself. She had wondered recently how close to insanity she was and now she was sure she didn't want to know.

---------------------------------

She slipped into the darkness of the house with ease; this was what she was made for, the product of the union between two agents prized but their respective governments. Years of training having honed hereditary gifts to the point of perfection.

She noted the soft light slipping under the study door and knew that's where he would be, sat casually at the desk inside, as if he had the right to still breath in the same air as her.

She pushed the study door open slowly the 9mm Beretta in her hand held combat style in front of her.

He looked up at her entrance; if he was shocked to see her it didn't reach his expression.

"Hello Sydney" He greeted with a casual nonchalance that made her want to reach over and smash his smug face into the desk.

**Ahh but who is it? Think you know, let me know.**

 **RAVEN**


	11. Justified

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**Author's note:** Thanks go to phi4858 once again for constant support; hopefully you will enjoy the rest of this story as I am getting to the point now, thanks.

**LOS ANGELES.**

He looked up at her entrance; if he was shocked to see her it didn't reach his expression.

"Hello Sydney" He greeted with a casual nonchalance that made her want to reach over and smash his smug face into the desk.

Sloane stared back at her as if her holding a gun in his face was a usual occurrence.

"You killed him you son of a bitch" She felt the rage taking over pushing the cold clinical professional aside.

She grabbed the back of his head roughly, pushing the barrel tight to his temple.

"He was the closest thing I had to family Sydney, it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do" The rhetoric had started, lies and falsehoods leaving his lips with such ease.

She smashed his face hard into the desk, pulling him up again so she could see the results, A thin trickle of blood emerging from the wreck that had been his nose only seconds before.

"He was a better man than you could ever be" She spat the words like venom, For so long she had not know her father and when she had finally been able to see him for what he was, he had been taken from her.

She moved back to stand before him, the gun turned back onto him, she looked hard into his face. She saw no remorse no sorrow for his sins. He barely even acknowledged his smashed nose.

"I know you Sydney, You're not a killer" He smiled slightly at that, as if he had already won this game.

She laughed at that, a cold dry sound that sent a chill down his back, uncertainty flashing briefly in his shark like eyes.

"Two days after his funeral I got a photo pushed under my door, my father meeting Sark" She remembered it so vividly, every moment after that etched into the very fiber of her being. She stared through Sloane as she recounted her story to him.

"I found him in Austria, He seemed genuinely surprised to see me…I was…so full of anger, he had taken my father from me just when I had found him" She smiled distantly, the memory so clear in her head. Sark smiled back at her from where he now stood behind Arvin Sloane.

Then she remembered how she had left him, broken, damaged beyond repair. A hint of grief flashed across her apparitions face as if he too had just seen the images that had flashed across her memory.

"I didn't even give him the chance to speak, to explain himself, he took my father" She recalled how Sark looked betrayed, hurt even that she would be aiming her weapon at him. She remembered how he had looked about to say something when she had put the first round through his perfect left eye. What was once a brilliant sapphire of blue was now a mess of blood and vitreous fluid slipping down his cheek like a sickening tear.

"I shot him till I had emptied my clip even thou I knew that the first shot had killed him".

The memory of his body dancing in the chair as 14 more bullets pounded into it. She thought she saw a wince from her now dead companion as he shifted uncomfortably behind Sloane's chair.

"You know I didn't even feel guilt, I felt jusfied, I walked out of there satisfied that justice had been served."

Now Sloane looked less sure of himself, she had murdered someone she had thought killed her father in cold blood and now he, Jack's real killer was sat in front of her, unarmed and unprepared.

"Sydney, you can't do this, you're father's assassination was sanctioned by the CIA." He looked pleased by the brief shock that registered in her eyes.

" He was defecting to work with your mother, Sark was facilitating that move, with Jack's talent and knowledge the CIA simply could not afford that."

She sighed outwardly.

"You don't understand do you Sloane, I don't care anymore, you personally have taken so much from me. It doesn't matter why anymore ,just that you did." She said the words as if she were talking to a child. Her idealism and illusions of good versus evil had long since faded away.

She had grown tired of this conversation, tired of Arvin Sloane's excuses and justifications. She stared down at this twisted little man with nothing but contempt.

"Sydney please…." He didn't get any further than the beginnings of pleading for his miserable existence before the first .45 caliber round smashed into him leaving parts of his perverse brain splattered over the wall behind him.

A look of disgust crossed the features of ghost Sark as he brushed at traces of imaginary brain matter.

"Have you any idea how much this suit cost Bristow?" he said crossly.

**Okay sorry I know it took it's time coming but please forgive me it's a world cup year.**

 **RAVEN**


	12. A good man

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Author's note: Okay this is kind of just to wrap this up. This was my first attempt at a fan-fic and I have learnt a few things from it that will hopefully help with any future attempts. I would like to thank everyone who has reviewed and if anybody else has any advice on how to improve future efforts please let me know**

Dublin. Ireland 

She didn't look up when someone slide into the booth opposite her. She was expecting her; She casually folded her newspaper before meeting the other woman's amused gaze.

"Sydney" Her mother said with a casual smile, and then taking in her now blonde hair she added. "Or is it Julia again".

Sydney pushed the newspaper away from her and smirked her mother really did have a vicious streak. "It's still Sydney" She commented dryly. "What is it you want, mom" The last word left her lips like an insult.

She grimaced as she took a sip from her long since cold coffee.

"Your father was a good man, Sydney" Irina's eyes met her own only briefly but Sydney saw the grief there.

"He was tired of this life we lead, He wanted to get out, I was helping him" There was sadness in her mothers voice a sign that she was after all human.

"He may have done a lot of things in his life but he was a good man, I just wanted you to know" Irina stood abruptly.

"I know" Was all she could think to say a lump forming in her throat.

Her mother left without even the briefest glance behind her and Sydney somehow knew for all her mothers' cold-hearted nature she had tears in her eyes.

**Okay so quite a dull little chapter but wasn't sure how to wrap this up, was going to have Irina tell Sydney that she would regard her as any enemy if she ever saw her again, because she killed sark but Irina Is to smart to lose Syd as an asset. Plus I kind of like the idea that despite every evil little thing she has done, she still loved jack in her twisted way.**

**Thanks Raven**


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